


Gravity Doesn't Work One-way, Frong.

by cynical_ravenclaw



Series: Letters to the My Engineer boys. [3]
Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Bros to ????, Falling In Love, Love Letter to Frong, M/M, Pining, we don't let Frong be sad in this household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25749307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynical_ravenclaw/pseuds/cynical_ravenclaw
Summary: He is warmth. Comfort and freedom. The relief of being understood, the safety of not being judged no matter what you say or do. He feels like home....A letter to Frong. About him and Thara, and everything in between.
Relationships: Frong Korawit Kankun/Thara
Series: Letters to the My Engineer boys. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750873
Comments: 20
Kudos: 35





	Gravity Doesn't Work One-way, Frong.

**Author's Note:**

> This letter to Frong isn't a sequel to the previous letters to King and Ram, but is written in a similar form and perspective.
> 
> If you like this one, please do check out the others!

You think he hates you, don't you?

I know you do. I know because I've seen you. I've seen you live your life, and I've seen you learn yourself. I saw a toddler walk into his elder brother's arms on unsteady first steps. I saw a young man studying for days and nights to ace his entrance exams.

I see you live and learn, and I know you better than you know yourself.

You think he hates you. That man. He has seen you at your worst. Multiple times. He still came back to you. With the same kind eyes, the same warm smile. He saw you at your worst, but still, he came back like he wanted to witness your best too. You think you did something wrong. Drove him away. Made him hate you. Frong, honey, you couldn't be more wrong.

Do you remember how you met? Of course you do. That day, by far, remains the most bizarre day in your life. A stranger walked into your shop, and left you to deal with a whirlwind of emotion. Annoyance to incredulity, exasperation to stupefaction. All tinged with the slight pink of incomprehensible attraction.

You were drunk that day, at the bar. Couldn't even stand straight, silly boy. He asked if you were okay and you acted like his mere presence had soured your night. You never know how to behave when people show concern for you, do you, love? Still, he stayed. He caught you when you lost yourself. Joked with you to lift your spirits. Iced your banged head and bought you food so the hangover wouldn't be so bad in the morning. Do you know how you looked at him then? Like he was the only thing keeping you tethered to the ground. Honey, you should have known then that you were falling.

You visited your mother in the hospital and she told you about this nice medical student who helped her know more about her ailment, and gave her flowers so she feels better. Jasmine. Your heart twisted when you realised you had been unnecessarily bristly towards someone who was just trying to be kind to his patients.

Maybe you misunderstood him. Maybe you had to apologise.

And apologise you did. Turned out, he has a heart of gold, that man. Kind smile and kinder eyes. He not only accepted the apology with a grace that made your heart skip a beat, but also made you see how you could help your mother. After he left, you were felt like you were floating for a long time, without even realising why.

You met once again at the ice-cream shop. For the first time, an unexpected tryst with him wasn't coloured with disappointment. Instead, the sight of him walking towards your table filled you with a warmth that you didn't dare to acknowledge. That day was the one when you realised that seeing your old crush happy with his boyfriend hurt, yes. But hearing _him_ talk about how he thought people thinking you two were a couple was funny hurt more.

He has a dorky side too, with its own unique charm. He loves his pet lizard to the moon, and grabs every chance to show her off. He has a car but rides around on a bicycle with a carrier. He is completely unashamed of being himself, and your heart, with its tendency to get self-conscious, feels drawn to him.

He is all gentle warmth and tender care, and sometimes you forget that he is a force to be reckoned with. He figured out your feelings for his cousin merely in one meeting. He told you he understood, indirectly asked you if you still felt the same, reassured you that you had every right to feel how you did, promised you everything would be alright in the end, and distracted you by talking about your family. All in one conversation. And you didn't even realise what happened.

You don't get annoyed by his presence anymore, do you, love? Quite the opposite, in fact. He is warmth. Comfort and freedom. The relief of being understood, the safety of not being judged no matter what you say or do.

Where you once avoided him like the plague, you now seek him out in a crowd. Because being around him makes you feel better in your own skin. Like an old itch finally soothed. A deep breath of fresh air after almost choking on smoke. It is not the doctor's prescription that heals you. It's the doctor's smile.

You want to tell him everything. To talk to him about the day's weather and about the endless universe. You could say anything and he would still pay attention like it's the most interesting thing he has ever heard.

He is the relief of being understood and the safety of not being judged. He feels like home. And you crave more of that solace.

You asked him to go to the camp with you. Only because you didn't have any other friends going with you. You and I both know what a lie that was. The way he looked at you suggested that he saw through your excuses too. He came along anyway. He asked you on the bus if he could sit on the seat next to you, and suddenly the whole camp seemed worthwhile.

He took your hand, to try a remedy for motion sickness he had read about. His hands, warm and soft against your slightly cold hand. His fingers, gentle as could be, dancing on your palm. There were sparks going down your spine. You didn't know what to do other than sneak covert glances, wondering if he felt the sparks too. Your nausea went away, but who knows whether that was because of the remedy, or because you were too distracted to be sick anymore?

Once a doctor, always a doctor. He cannot turn off his instinct to help people with the best way to take care of themselves any more than you can stop yourself from looking at a flower and thinking how it would look in a bouquet. He talked about the best way to throw up in a plastic bag. You thought about how, in the future, this would be a story that you'll tell people with the most smitten smile on your face. That was when you knew you were in trouble, deep trouble. If this situation was _adorable_ instead of eccentric, there was no going back for you. You didn't mind, not really.

When your lost necklace was nowhere to be found, he looked as sad and forlorn as you felt. Some other day, you would have wondered why. But at that time, you were too overcome by the grief of having lost the only connection to your father. He sat down near you, a silent pillar of support, while you collected your thoughts. He has this air of compassion and empathy around him, an aura so strong that it made you want to tell him about your father. About your oldest memories of your family. About the anguish you feel when you think of how it will never be the same again.

In return, he told you about his father. He talked about how his father suffered. How they lost him. How he had no physical belongings to keep as his memory. How he believes his father is always with him, because he carries his father's memories in his heart.

That day, you found out that beneath the layer of weird and dorky was a profoundness that you have barely scratched the surface of. At such a young age, he has been through a lot in life. So have you. You both have loved and lost. Seen your families struggle. Swallowed your own hurt to be strong for the people around. It is this pain in your hearts that pulls both of you closer.

He wasn't in the tent when you woke up the next day. He didn't turn up at the planting site either. You found him, later in the afternoon. Or he found you, just like he always does. He also found your necklace. He stayed up all night and he found your necklace for you, your knight in shining armour. Because he understood how important it was for you.

He did that for you, Frong. He did it all for you.

You know every decision for something is a decision against something else. You know every step you take towards him is a step taken away from that junior you helped at university. But you don't care, do you? The feelings you had for that boy are nothing compared to the indescribable pull you feel towards this wonderful person who radiates love and kindness with everything he does.

So you made a decision. You decided to accept what you felt. You wanted to be with this man. For as long as he would have you. If he would have you.

He took photos of you at the river. He offered to help you put your necklace on, fingertips brushing against your neck, accidentally but not really. You took a selfie together and he put his arm across your shoulders to hold you closer. He asked for your Line ID. It was nice, being flirted with by someone you like. Especially him. Then he called you his brother, and your heart broke.

You once weren't sure if you could call him your friend. If you two had that camaraderie. Then he declared that you were friends. Brothers, even. Now you would give everything to go back to the unnamed, uncertain familiarity. Before you tried to put a label on your relationship with him. Before the word ‘brother’ began to feel like a rejection.

The photo of you two added insult to injury. You wondered if you had misread the situation. If you had made him uncomfortable. If this was Thara marking his boundaries, putting a distance between you two.

You had been quietly nursing a dream of a life together. Stolen kisses in an empty corridor of a hospital. Loving looks exchanged across the table as you have lunch with friends. You and him, locked in orbit, his gravity pulling you closer and closer, till you have no choice but to become one with him.

But apparently, he didn't feel the same.

Sweetheart, you are wrong. Trust me, I know. I know because like I see you live and learn, I see him too. And I know you both better than you know yourselves.

I see the softness in his eyes when he talks to you. I feel his heartbeat quicken when you smile at him, that shy smile of yours that seems to be reserved only for him.

I was around, in the moonlight, when he lay awake all night long. He tossed and turned on his bed. Wondered, once your mother was healthy again, if he would see you again. I have seen confusion cloud his face, when he asks himself why he wants to keep coming back to you. I have felt the goosebumps that rise on his skin at the thought of not being a part of your life anymore.

He says you are brothers. He says that because he doesn't know better. Because, even after being the smartest medical student you have ever met, he hasn't managed to understand his own thoughts. His own feelings. Towards you.

He says you are brothers, because that gives him an excuse to stay. To be around you. To care for you some more. To bump his shoulder against yours and give you a smile that melts all your worries away. To come back. Come back to you.

I know this. I know because I see him live and learn. And I know you both better than you know yourselves.

You think he hates you. You think you did something wrong. Drove him away and made him hate you. Frong, honey, you couldn't be more wrong.

Didn't you notice yet, sugar? He always comes back to you.

He has seen you at your worst. Multiple times. He still came back to you. He saw you at your worst, but still, he came back like he wanted to witness your best too.

You think of you and him in orbit. A planet turning around the sun. You feel your heart revolve around his. Sweetheart, what if I tell you he feels his heart revolve around yours too?

You think of a planet and the sun, but you two are a binary star system. Two stars revolving around each other. Each the centre of the other's universe. Entwined in a ceaseless dance across the cosmos.

Gravity doesn't work one-way, Frong. He is drawn to you too. He feels his world slowly mould itself around you. He feels his heart beat faster. He feels the colours seem brighter. He doesn't know why yet. He will soon.

I know this because I know you both better than you know yourselves. I know you both, so I can promise you this.

Darling, you have nothing to fear. He will never hurt you, not ever, because what you feel for him, he feels for you too. He doesn't know that yet. But he will soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello on [Tumblr!](https://cynical-ravenclaw.tumblr.com/)


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